DesignWorld! I love the exclamation point! The exclamation point has received a lot of unnecessarily negative press over the years which is not fair. The exclamation point is not overly emotive, it is the people who use them. I use them because people can’t see all of my body language when I write so the exclamation point lets the reader know I am excited! If you really want to see me get excited you should do a whole blog on punctuation!
—Anne

DW!: ok.

Dear DesignWorld! This blog is so great. Would you like me to make a logo for DesignWorld!?
—Samuel

DW!: No thanks. We are currently planning right now an upcoming “Design a Logo for DesignWorld! Global Branding Competition” competition here on the DesignWorld! site. Look for details in upcoming blogs. All we know right now is that there will be no prizes and it costs $1,475 (Canadian) for each entry, and that the name of the competition is “Design A Logo For DesignWorld! Global Branding Competition.” If you would like to be a judge send us your picture and we will let you know.

Dear Editors of DesignWorld! I stumbled onto your blog and now I am hooked. It is ‘awesome’ is the only word I can use to describe it. What me and my friends would really like to see is a story on designers’ homes and where they live. It is so inspiring when we see people who really think they are great living in really cool amazing modern homes that cost a lot of money it makes us believe in ourselves and our thinking of ourselves as really great will pay off. So that would be cool for you to do (are there any in Portland Oregon? because that is where we live too).

DW!: The “Portland Oregon: How Cool Can A Place On Earth Be?” (Similar to the title of a series of blogs we are planning around Iceland. Get it?) DesignWorld! blog Special Feature! is planned for the near future –-watch for it. And we will continue to think about doing our housing Series that we are thinking about called something like, “This Is My Designer House. See? That’s My Eames Chair.” Watch for that too.

Our Review:

*********** (the most stars you can get is twelve or thirteen)

It has everything a design-forward techno-geek trend-slave could possibly want: EVERYONE THINKS IT IS COOL!

DW!: You’ve done some incredible things. It is rumored that you invented the sky.

Ha. That is funny. I invented air, actually. Because of my design for air, sky exists.

DW!: Excuse me. Tell us about your early influences.

Early on I was influenced by some things Michelangelo did. But some of his creations were simplistic and really a little embarrassing. I think he would today be recognized as a significant design figure except for the trashy stuff. I mean, a ceiling?

DW!: Some people thought that was pretty cool. For the time.

At Disneyland, maybe.

DW!: What does your house look like?

Which house? I have one in Paris and one in L.A. and one in Basel and two in Manhattan and a few others.

DW!: Describe one of your houses.

One of my houses is completely without walls.

DW!: Where do you hang the pictures?

What kind of idiot question is that? I do not have pictures. No one should have pictures because in that process of containing an image you destroy the essence of the image. And that is assuming you could even find an image that would not compromise the vision that is my house.

DW!: What holds up the roof if you don’t have any walls?

Magnets.

DW!: I don’t get it.

You are an idiot. It is so simple. The magnets are very powerful and it is all worked out in my software design program that I have created. It is extremely sophisticated. And available on my website, designgod2.com.

DW!: What are your favorite colors?

White. And white. Maybe a high energy streak of red. That is why I hate trees. Even birch trees have white bark? But then it is ruined because all the leaves are green. That is the only kind of tree you can get. So I have to make my own out of polycarbonate.

DW!: That seems wasteful. I mean, trees are pretty easy to get.

Yes, that is part of the point. They are so easy for people to get, I think that it cheapens my designs to have things in them that people can easily get. So I make trees in Basel from polycarbonate that is sourced in Sardinia. They last forever and their leaves don’t fall off. But you can go to my website designgod2.com and get different white leaves for different seasons –variances of white. Not you, of course. Someone with means and taste can go to my website designgod2.com. Your personal designer would have to get a special code.

DW!: Do you have a family? Do you have children?

Of course. They are a beautiful family. You can see them in the current issue of I.D. magazine. I have a wife and some kids too. They can also be seen on my website, designgod2.com.

DW!: Have you designed stuff for kids?

Many beautiful things. But most kids are not appreciative of good design. They think everything is to be used as a club. It is best if you make things for kids that you do not let the kids play with them.
But I will always design things for kids because it shows my playful side.

DW!: You have a playful side?

Actually I have many playful sides. Many times I will do things and people will say, “That is so fun!” Animals, for example, signify fun and playful, and people always like animals and almost anyone will buy things with animals on them. So I use animals frequently in my ‘playful’ designs. It is like a playful stamp of authentication. I will make a 2,000-pound rolled steel dining room table and then imprint a sheep or something in the middle. That is so quirky of me and it is playful, really. That is one playful side. I have others.

DW!: So you have accomplished a lot. What do you feel is your greatest achievement?

My Religion®. I designed a Religion® and it is for sale at my retail store in New York City.

DW!: Yes, we meant to ask you about that. I didn’t know that someone could just design a religion.

That is why it took a visionary like me to do it. Because simpletons like you would not think to do it. People like you join my religion.
Religion has been way under-designed for far too long. The religious visual aesthetic looked crappy —stale and dated— yet it was everywhere you looked. There was tremendous opportunity there for someone with my vision.

DW!: The price to join is very visionary too. $1,200 a month for religion?

People have paid much more than that to get religion. Plus, that gets you access to my sermon series, DesignGodonDesign that you can download from my Religion®.com site. They are $120 each, and with each one you buy you get access to buy the next month. In addition you are allowed access to my Religion Park® in New York City.
But of course I recognize the importance of the accessibility of Religion® to people who don’t live in New York City, so we are looking into a Target partnership that would allow us to bring Religion® to the masses, like people who live in, say, the Midwest. I am very excited about making Religion® an affordable luxury.

DW!: There is a Religion Park in New York? Like a theme park?

Yes, of course. Why are you surprised that there is something in New York? Everything is there. If you are surprised to find something in New York it is because you weren’t allowed to know it is there. Yes, the Park is very small, like a boutique Park, not like a big awful public monstrosity like Six Flags over Dallas.
We don’t sell Coca-Cola there.
It is very small and it takes about 7 and a half minutes to see the whole thing because the people who go to Religion Park don’t have a lot of extraneous time. That is why it is all white. With one red thing. So you don’t have to spend a lot of time finding the one thing and then figuring out what it is.

DW!: What is your next big thing?

It is hard to imagine —even for me— after designing a religion. But, I have been asked to design a spaceship to the moon. It is very exclusive. We will only design a few thousand of them but then only one will actually work. Actually, it won’t work really, because I looked into that and I will need all the budget they have to make the spaceship look spectacular, so there will be no money left to make it actually work. No one cares if it works, just so it looks really good.
Imagine buying a spaceship to the moon to have in your foyer, everyone would be so impressed that I designed it and you bought it. Not you you. Someone. Someone with money.

I have to go now.